Sundog
by bjorkChild
Summary: About three things I was certain. First, I was a werewolf. Second, almost immediately after laying my wolf eyes on her, I imprinted on Isabella Swan. Third, she was unconditionally ,and possibly irrevocably, in love with a vampire who'd left
1. Chapter 1: Where is my mind?

**A/N: Hey you guys, this is bjorkchild, and I'm pleased to say that this is my first fanfic in years! When I was younger I wrote a bunch of stories on here actually (if you like my writing style check out my profile with my other stories. I write about love a lot ^^) and then life happened as it so inevitably does. I read the Twilight series in about a month's span of time and I must say it's a pretty powerful idea to have brought me out of a 3 year-long writer's block…and so I give you Sundogs. The setting is in **_**New Moon**_** right around the time Bella discovers Jacob's secret. I deviate quite a bit from the original storyline and on that note I'll go ahead and ramble off the disclaimer's note:**

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF IT'S AFFILIATED CHARACTERS, PLOT LINES, OR MYTHOLOGY. I DO HOWEVER OWN ANY OF MY OWN CHARACTERS THAT I CHOOSE TO BRING INTO THE FANFIC. **

**A few more notes to consider:**

**I wrote this with many different songs in mind, so I urge everyone to go and listen as the song choices are very key to understanding the angst in between the characters. Also, as there are a bajillion Twilight fanfics out there, if I've done something with my story that has been done before, please don't flame. After all I haven't read every single Twilight fic on the WWW, so if this occurs I mean no offense. Please give my story a chance- I think you'll really like the outcome. Enjoy guys!**

Prologue

My lungs were on the verge of bursting as I threw myself out of the truck and sprinted as hard as I could toward the forest line. I knew he would be there- waiting to take my pursuer head on, completely and utterly alone. I knew it was, in my heart of hearts, a death wish. If only I could just glimpse him, grab his attention somehow, I had the power to turn everything-our entire world-around. But my voice wouldn't be able to reach him, as I was breathing much too hard to be overheard over the cacophony of wind from the storm brewing overhead.

Besides, I didn't have time to breathe. I glimpsed, for just a brief moment, the flash of red fur before I launched myself into the forest.

**Chapter 1: Where is my mind?**

"_With your feet in the air and your head on the ground,_

_Try this trick and spin it, yeah,_

_Your head will collapse but there's nothin' in it and you'll ask yourself_

_Where is my mind?_

_Where is my mind?_

Where is my mind…? I'd wondered that for a long time, watching the water from the shower swirl down the drain, just like my thoughts, my world, my everything. I'd sat down in the bottom of the tub just staring- the hole in my chest, aching.

I'd had just about enough of this whole ordeal. The past several months had been complete hell, and yet no healing came. No sweet release, or healing hand of Time that washed over me and let these terrible feelings of agony and emptiness go away not unlike the water that went down the drain. The only feeling of remote happiness came when I was around him. And even now, that had become an entirely whole new issue.

Because, not a week before, I had found out that Jacob Black, my own personal, healing sun, was a werewolf.

I shifted uncomfortably but let the shower cascade down on me, hitting my face and drenching my hair. I'd wondered, given this new discovery, what it all really meant in the end. I knew he was safe- that thought I had never questioned. I saw in his eyes, though hard and bitter as of late, that he would never, ever hurt me. What I was most concerned about was the fact that I never got to _see _him anymore. At first he'd shoved me away telling me to go home and not to come back. I remember standing there looking at his hard, angry mask, complete shock sweeping through me. I was angry too, though, thinking that Sam Uley had finally gotten to him. Fury, unabashed rage had coursed through me- thinking back it was actually exhilarating. Any emotion that strong, good or bad, was exhilarating these days. But he's sent me away- words like acid, stinging to the core.

Everything changed though a few days after that; after my encounter with Laurent in the meadow, and the wolves. The huge, angry, bristling wolves…no animosity towards me though, all energy was centered on the vampire.

Later he came to me and gave me the clues to figure it all out. He was so different in my room that night than the previous days- more vulnerable, more remnants of my Jacob. That's what hurt me the most about this whole ordeal. It wasn't the fact that he was a shape-shifting wolf, and we had already cleared up the fact that I thought him and his pack were the ones responsible for the missing hikers which turned out to be a huge misunderstanding. I could deal with his abnormality- after all I had dedicated my whole existence to a vampire. It was that now, I feared, I would only ever see a shadow of the boy that had helped me through complete darkness

I gulped down the lump in my throat that had been growing for several minutes now. Thinking about _him, _even mentioning the word "vampire" to myself was still too much. I remember I had told Jacob in the movie theater that I was "damaged, a car that would never run right". I still fully believed this. The solace Jacob gave me was only brief, only lasted when he was actually around me. Now however, in the aloneness of my shower, I had nothing. What was I going to do? The gaping wound seemed to be growing bigger by the day; instinctively I wrapped my arms around my torso.

In that moment the strangest thing happened.

I looked through the shower drops, just a foot away from me and say in very vivid detail, Jacob Black. He was smiling at me, white teeth illuminated behind broad, tan lips.

At first I blushed furiously, immediately covering myself. But his eyes didn't scrutinize and no air of perverseness crossed his face- his smile was warm, but not mocking. I stared at him, wide-eyed and for some reason reached out to touch his face which was dripping with water, but felt no skin give way under my fingertips. In turn, he reached towards me and I felt his insanely hot fingers graze my cheek. I no longer felt ashamed of my nakedness; after all, he was just a figment of my imagination and I had never felt much inhibition around him. I could be myself, wholly and fully, when I was with him without feeling silly. Now I just sat with an open mouth and relished as he cradled my face. This was strange and foreign to me-I'd only ever had this phenomenon happen with _him_. I'd hear voices, still, and with certain dangerous, risky situations I saw his actual form. But this situation was nothing like that; I'd just felt _bad_. Then there he was. Telling me with his eyes that everything would be ok. I sighed heavily, not knowing if tears or shower water ran down my face.

_Bella…_

My eyes flew open. Jacob's face had gone from warm to hard and he looked past me in the distance. At once he let go, with an apologetic look in his eyes, and I felt cold stone arms wrap around me from behind. I gasped. I hadn't felt those arms in ages…

Immediately Jacob was gone, and I felt a horrible sense of loss overwhelm me; but that lasted only so long as I felt cold breath on my neck.

_Bella…_

I glanced over my shoulder and saw a perfect, beautiful, angelic face that was only too familiar.

_Edward…_

He smiled velvety at me, snuggling my nose- and then winked.

_I love you…_

I'm not sure if that voice was his or mine. But it was too late, as he was gone then too.

I shivered, looking around, but I was thoroughly alone. I stood, defeated, and turned off the shower head. Reaching for the towel, I still felt that immense coldness envelope me. Drying off, I only realized that the gaping wound was still acutely there. I chuckled darkly to myself, thinking I had gone completely mad. Not only had I had one but _two _hallucinations visit me. In the shower.

Maybe I needed to see a therapist.


	2. Chapter 2: The Eraser

**Chapter 2: The Eraser (Thom Yorke)**

"_Please excuse me but I've got to ask,_

_Are you only being nice because you want something?_

_My fairy tale arrow pierces,_

_Be careful how you respond, 'cause you'll not end up in this song,_

_I never gave you an encouragement,_

_and it's doing me in, doing me in,_

_doing me in, _

_doing me in.._

After my strange shower I went to my room to put some clothes on. It was already dark outside; I didn't have to get up for school in the morning considering that it was Saturday, yet I still considered turning in early for the night. There was nothing else to do anyway, not for a girl like me- a girl who'd pushed every human out of her life. I got dressed in my favorite worn sweats and proceeded to walk downstairs. I heard the t.v. in the living room still playing but heard no movement from Charlie- I guess he'd fallen asleep. Peeking from behind the staircase, I indeed saw him passed out on the couch. I felt a stab of pain for him suddenly; Charlie had been ridiculously tired as of late considering he was constantly out in the woods, searching for the crazed animals thought responsible for all the missing hikers. It was terrible watching this, especially since I knew that animals not the reason people were disappearing. I knew exactly what was going on.

Victoria was back. Back to claim her prize.

Since last spring after Edward and the other Cullens had killed James, I knew she had sat and stewed…planning, calculating, tracking...Mate for a mate is how Laurent had put it. She was furious, this was evident, and now because of me almost-_almost_- everyone I loved had been put in mortal danger. This thought did not escape me every night before I went to sleep. Charlie, Jacob, everyone in his pack, everyone in Forks and La Push, all of their lives hanging by a thread, and a severely dangerous vampire was holding a pair of scissors to each of those threads, mocking me with her bloody eyes. Regardless of the fact that the wolves had taken out Laurent with ease, Victoria still frightened me. The just didn't know the crazed look in her crimson gaze, or the way the wind caught her hair making it look like fire rising out of her head. She was utterly ruthless and cunning. After all she hadn't been caught yet.

Charlie gave a sudden snort, breaking me from my thoughts. I tiptoed down the rest of the stairs and turned for the kitchen. I hadn't eaten a bit today, in which I could hear Jacob's voice in my head nagging me, as if he'd known, "C'mon Bella!" His voice was patronizing, like an adult to a child, "You can't just stop eating, you'll wither away!"

His voice…

I ached, again aware of that gaping, never-ending pain. It surprised me how bad I wanted to hear him, how bad I wanted him around. I'd come to the desolate conclusion that Edward was never coming back. He was off doing bigger, better things probably- not even giving a second thought to the pathetic human he had left, withered and broken, back in Forks, Washington. Another stab of pain, and I almost gasped out loud. This fact was very hard to accept and it was painfully obvious that I was not making much progression in the acceptance department. This was why Jacob was so important. I never thought I would be right, ever again, until he proved that wrong. He had the power to take some of my agony and sorrow away which, to me, was huge.

He was so patient and kind, but I still saw pain in his eyes when he looked at me sometimes. The pain of loss, I knew, because his feelings toward me were much more implied; it killed me knowing that I couldn't reciprocate it considering it would only be a farce, a shadow of what I was really capable of. Jacob deserved better than me. He knew this, and yet still devoted himself to me. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat and attempted to push my thoughts elsewhere. The attempt was futile, so I decided to pour myself a bowl of cold cereal and give the Black household a call. It wasn't too late and if I couldn't see him then I'd settle for his voice.

Billy answered the phone after three or four rings.

"Hey Bella," I could hear the smile in his voice once I greeted him and asked for Jacob, "I'm sorry Bella, but Jacob's out tonight on patrol. I'll have him call you in the morning, ok?"

"Ok Billy," his voice had a ring of finality to it; no doubt he wanted his son to at least get some sleep as Jacob's nightly escapades left him little time for rest. I hung up the phone feeling worse than before.

_The more you try to erase me,_

_The more the more_

_The more that I appear_

_Oh the more the more _

_The more you try the eraser _

_The more the more_

_The more that you appear _

I pushed the spoon around in my cereal, all phantom remnants of hunger gone. I got up slowly and poured the contents of the bowl down the drain setting the dirty dishes down. I stood over the sink bracing myself and to an outsider it may have looked like I was about to be sick. But all I felt was my sick heart. Turning around I leaned my back against the counter, wondering vaguely how I was going to make it through all this. Unconsciously I felt my legs start to move toward the front door, very quietly, grabbing my jacket and pulling it listlessly on as I snuck through the front door and closed it noiselessly behind me.

I was like a ghost then, above my body, watching myself start to amble towards that he'd left me in so long ago it seemed. I wasn't sure what I was doing or where I was going as the woods enveloped me.

_You know the answers so why do you ask?_

_I am only being nice because I want someone, something_

I just walked at that point, arms wrapped around my chest, but not because of the bitter cold. I knew then that I was searching but for what was still a mystery. Maybe I was reenacting my search for Edward some months ago which proved altogether fruitless. Maybe I was searching for Jacob, my own wolven sun, to break me out of this strange darkness that had enveloped me. Maybe…I was searching for her.

It did make some sense to me in this manic, out-of-body-state. It was obvious I had little left in me to keep fighting for my minute human existence when it was endangering so many around me. I walked, zombie-like, open mouth filling with cold night air, imagining how it would be. Laurent said slow, painful. But when I weighed my options my mind wondered back to the house with sleeping, oblivious Charlie on the couch. This would be better for him, I ascertained. I would much rather give myself up then have him or anyone else die by the hands of a ruthless vampire. I had little else to live for.

_You're like a kitten with a ball of yarn_

_And it's doing me in, doing me in_

_Doing me in, _

_Doing me in, _

_Doing me in, _

On and on I wandered until after about half an hour I heard the snapping of a twig and my heart stopped beating. Stuck in my tracks and suppressing the sudden urge to scream I slowly turned my head this way and that, but my weak human eyes could make out nothing in the dark. My breathing had stopped in my throat and it took all the energy that was in my to listen for which direction the attack may be coming from. It mattered little, but I would at least like to know and maybe have some kind of anticipation. Right as I was thinking this I suddenly craned my head to the left and saw, about ten feet away, a set of glinting eyes standing out in the darkness of the forest.

Little thoughts ran through my head as complete fear gripped me and I fell, slow motion, to the ground. As my knees buckled the eyes disappeared and I saw for a fleeting moment a glint of red; the way I had fallen, like all like had left my body, would hopefully give me some release to the pain I was about to endure. I thought, for a moment, how good she was. I didn't even have to try and she's found me almost instantly. Vampires were such amazing creatures, I chuckled morbidly. Not strangely _he _was in my last living thoughts.

_Edward…_

_Jacob…_another small voice said in my head.

_Jacob…Jacob?_

I felt hands on my shoulders shaking me.

"Bella!" I heard a faraway voice that was not my own, "Bella!" Like a distant radio frequency the familiar voice got louder and louder until finally I supposed I came around. I felt hot hands cupping my face and hot breath on my cheeks.

"Bella, please wake up you're freezing!" My vision came back slowly- I hadn't realized my eyes had gone completely out of focus- until I saw that I was staring up at the face of the sun.

Jacob was now cradling me and I felt my face hit his hot chest; I hadn't realized how frozen I was. I closed my eyes and fully enveloped his scent- it was earthy, musky…and I liked it. It smelled like comfort, like home. I felt the sensation of moving and I realized he was carrying me through the forest very swiftly, not looking down, intent on getting me to safety.

"Jake…"my voice was but a whisper.

He didn't look down but I could see the hardness in his eyes. He made no noise as he moved fluidly through the trees back to my house. He used to be such a klutz, but I had to admit he'd been impressing me a lot lately.

"We'll talk when I get you back home," he said huskily, his voice full of subdued anger, "I hope your windows open…" he added underneath his breath.

"It always is." I whispered before slipping into unconsciousness.

_The more you try to erase me  
The more, the more  
The more that I appear  
Oh the more, the more  
The more I try to erase you  
The more, the more  
The more that you appear  
No, you're wrong, you're wrong  
You're wrong, you're wrong_


	3. Chapter 3: Shiver

**A/N: Hey everyone hope you're enjoying so far please gimme some feedback I'd like to know how I'm doing!**

**Chapter 3: Shiver (Coldplay)**

_So I look in your direction, _

_But you pay me no attention do you?_

_I know you don't listen to me, _

'_Cause you say you see straight through me, don't you?_

_But on and on, till the moment I wake, till the moment I sleep,_

_I'll be there by your side just you try and stop me,_

_I'll be waiting in line, just to see if you care,_

My dream was very vivid that night. I was on the beach in La Push sitting underneath a dead white tree whose roots came up out of the ground and twisted about themselves with a very quiet kind of beauty. It was our tree- Jacob's my tree, the one we always sit under, and our very first meeting place- as adults anyway. I was alone just looking out to sea, crashing menacingly as the sky darkened and threatened to storm- the electricity was in the air and I felt the pressure rise. At that moment I looked up at the dangerous sky and the clouds were parted by a huge pillar of sunlight. However, instead of the sun, I saw the golden outline of an animal that, in turn, raised its head and howled a long, high note. Staring with a gaping mouth I abruptly gave a short cry of protest after a moment of awe, and I looked down and saw that my feet were on fire. But this pain seemed all too real to be a dream…

I instantly woke up and found that I was in my bed at home, and my feet were in fact on fire. Metaphorically. As I glanced down my face turned bright red and I saw that Jacob was at the foot of my bed, gently rubbing my feet with some kind of cloth. Instinctively I jerked my legs away and sat up, wrapping my arms around my knees.

"What are you _doing?_" I hissed.

He sighed and looked up at me, his face sarcastic and wearing a hard look in his eyes that did not suit him, "I was _trying_ to clean your wounds." He tossed the cloth on the floor, "You were wondering around in bare feet."

I glanced down for the first time and grimaced as I saw that he was right. My feet were dirty and smeared with blood, several cuts littering my toes and the bottoms of my feet. The blood and mud were caked on, save for the parts Jacob had already cleaned up-it looked like he had only just grazed off the first layer.

"What, don't believe me?" he snapped, seeming altogether too angry about the situation.

I narrowed my eyes, "Jeez ,bad mood huh?" I wished I hadn't said anything.

He jumped to his feet, body shaking and hands clenched, "Yea I'm angry," he yelled at me in whispers, his jaw tight, "Put yourself in my shoes, Bella! How would _you _feel if you found me wandering around in the woods like a damn zombie when there's a _bloodsucker_ on the loose! Did you want to end up dead or something? My God! You're so stupid sometimes-it kills me!"

Those last words stung, and I bit my lip lowering my eyes, "I'm sorry," I whispered, "I don't…really know what happened out there…"

He relaxed his shoulders a little bit but his face did not give way.

"It's ok," he mumbled, plopping down at the foot of the bed, his back facing me, "Be glad I found you first though, and not that leech. I just can't lose you like that!" That last sentence held intensity in his voice. I looked hard at him and could feel immense relief radiating from him despite his actions and demeanor.

_Did you want me to change?_

_Well I'd changed for good,_

_And I want you to know that you'll always get your way,_

_I wanted to say_

I pulled myself up and situated next to him. Without thinking I wrapped both my arms around his arm that was nearest me- mine were so tiny compared to even his one bicep- and I rested my head on his shoulder. As per usual, lately, he had forgone his shirt and warmth radiated from him in an infectious manner. It never took long to get warm when you were around him. I realized I was still pretty cold and shivered involuntarily. He rested his cheek on top of my head and pulled his arm free so that he could fully envelope me. He held me close and snug.

"I know you're cold but this is still a good excuse for me anyway," he chuckled darkly.

Craning my head so I could look him in his eyes, my face held no amusement in its features. "Don't say that," escaped out of my mouth. I didn't like his tone or the look in his face when he'd made that comment. I couldn't help it, I had to say something. I was so happy he was here that I didn't want him to ruin it.

_Don't you shiver?_

_Shiver?_

_Sing it out and clear_

_I'll always be waiting for you_

He cracked a smile then and it looked, finally, like some remnants of my Jacob. My heart wanted to burst at the sight which was a very, very strange thing. It was quite the reaction considering I hardly ever detected even a heartbeat from my chest- and now, like an alien from the movie, it wanted out. I was on the brink of being genuinely happy. I sighed in what sounded like relief to my ears and settled back into his shoulder as he squeezed me just a little tighter. I never seemed tight enough for me, though, not enough for my liking.

"How did you find me?" I finally asked, breaking the reverie.

"It was easy, "he smirked, letting go of me and standing. He started to pace back and forth, but casually, "I usually take watch outside your house every night And no," he shot me a hard look, "I'm not some creepy stalker guy. I just have a few promises I intent to fully keep."

"Oh Jake," my shoulders slumped, looking at him miserably, "You shouldn't. No one should have to. Victoria is very dangerous- you don't need to be alone if you find her! She's scary Jacob, I'm being serious!" He had started laughing sarcastically.

"How insulting. Really, Bella, you have no confidence in us- or in me. Besides, the others weren't far and I would have smelled that bloodsucker before she'd gotten within a _mile_ of you. What _were_ you doing anyways?" he added, looking me in the face. "Am I going to have to rescue you like this every night now- you know I should just go ahead and move in," he smiled deviously, "to make sure you don't go off trying to get yourself killed."

I rolled my eyes and threw my pillow at him which he caught, naturally- only I'd be so clumsy as to drop a full-sized pillow. But I was grateful as he didn't press the issue any more after that. I'm sure he wouldn't have been too keen on my self-sacrificing idea anyway and now I felt dumb about it.

"Where's Charlie?" I suddenly asked, looking around as if he'd be in the room with us.

"Asleep in bed. I hid when he came to check on you before he went to his room. I can hear him snoring now. Don't worry I made sure your feet were covered too. See, smarter than I look!" he tapped his temple twice with his index finger.

_So you know how much I need you, but you never even see me, do you?_

I smiled up at him. I really did feel a lot better when he was with me; I felt more whole, more like Bella. I noticed then the intense pain that was radiating from my feet and I winced. Jacob went to move towards me, but stood still, afraid to make a move I suppose.

So I decided to do it for him.

I looked up at him, looked at his face, and without breaking his gaze I lifted my foot in the air toward him. He looked at me, almost confused, but walked over and plucked his cloth up off the floor and he got on his knees. His fingers wrapped around my ankle while his other hand went to cleaning.

_And is this my final chance of getting you?_

The cloth still stung but I didn't pull away this time. I don't really know what had gone through my brain, but for whatever reason I was glad I had put down some of my brutal defenses. What was so bad about being close with Jacob anyway? Was it because I knew I couldn't fully devote myself to him without feeling like I was cheating him? I was in fact just a shadow of Bella- but was I really? I didn't feel like that so much when I spent time with him. And now…his hands which were so large and powerful, were incredibly gentle and for some reason if his fingers brushed much higher than my ankle butterflies ripped violently through my stomach. That was also strange I thought- I hadn't had butterflies since _him. _This seemed hopeful.

"Why does that sting so much?" I grumbled, finally giving way to the pinpricks that ate my feet alive. I still let him press on, hell bent on letting him finish.

"Alcohol," he said simply, watching himself work, "Just to be safe. Next time you should leave the bare-foot hiking to us wolves." He glanced down at his own feet which were big, bare, and completely cut-free. He smiled widely at me and the grin finally reached his eyes. I couldn't help but smile back.

We then started talking quietly, just like we did way back when in his garage back home in La Push. Before all this madness- before the wolves- before Victoria. He sat working on my feet just as he had worked on the bikes- so meticulously yet so second nature to him as if he'd been doing it his whole life. It was nice to finally have him back to somewhat normal.

_And it's you I see, but you don't see me,_

_And it's you I hear, so loud and so clear,_

Once my feet were sufficiently clean he set the cloth down but didn't let go of my foot. We continued on with talk; talk of school, how the guys in the pack were doing in their human lives, Billy, my dad, so forth. Jacob was getting behind in school which was to be expected- after all he'd missed almost of week of school before and after his initial transformation- and with Victoria on the loose, geometry homework seemed to be on the bottom of the priority list. I made him promise to come by after school one day and let me help him catch up on his homework. He toothily grinned and complied almost immediately. I did notice, however, when Jacob started tracing lines around my ankle- but he didn't seem to as he continued with our conversation.

"Yea, Quil is still normal too, I forgot to tell you…which is awesome, really, except for the fact that he's got it coming, it's in his genes. He's also still freaking out, thinking we all deserted him for Sam. I feel so bad but what can I do? I mean we can't tell him anything…"

Jacob's eyes suddenly glanced down at his hand wrapped around my ankle and the strangest expression came over his face. My breath stilled suddenly as his palm started to make its way up, lifting my pant leg away and, in an almost trance-like state, he began to caress my calf. I didn't know what to do- I was frozen in place. The butterflies were definitely angry at his gentle touch, and my brain seemed divided- one half was screaming in fury, the other…in joy. This was so foreign to me; hands like fire sending chills down my whole body. But for all intents and purposes, I couldn't move an inch. This felt too good, and I felt so alive. I wanted this feeling to last.

He stroked me with his too- hot hands but his face was the most confusing of all, because he literally seemed in a trance- mouth open, eyes somewhat out of focus like he had been hypnotized. His head slowed lifted up to look at me and for one brief, intimate moment, our eyes met.

It was in that moment that something strange- something _big_- happened.

Jacob's face was suddenly an inch from mine and he was clutching my face tightly with both his hands, but he never broke his gaze. His eyes had changed- they were now wide, insanely intense, and awe-filled as if he had seen the most beautiful thing he would ever see in his life for the very first time. I couldn't look away, his eyes wouldn't let me. My heart was beating very loudly in my ears, and I realized this was the most I'd heard it in months.

"Jake?" I whispered but he didn't respond. His hands began to quiver, his mouth open and breathing hot air on my face, and his eyes never left mine. I squirmed a little, his hands making my face too warm and sweaty, but he didn't let go. It seemed like he couldn't. This situation was starting to worry me- I'd never seen him like this before.

"Jake!" I said a little more forcefully, now trying to get free of his fiery grasp. For a millisecond I froze as his face leaned closer to mine and our lips were a moment apart before he was across the room, five feet away from me completely. He held his arms out from him slightly and he was shivering and panting, but his face looked exactly the same as a moment before. His eyes still held mine with that same awe-filled almost horrorstruck look.

"What is it?" I asked, self-conscious all of the sudden. I'd never seen him like this and it somewhat frightened or annoyed me, I couldn't tell. He still refused to speak. "Do you need water or something! Jacob, you're freaking me out!"

Almost immediately his stance relaxed and his eyes broke away from me to stare at his feet. To my surprise I saw sweat drops fall from his forehead. 

" I have to go," he said abruptly, and turned to leave muttering something about the "pack".

I knew my face looked hurt, "Ok. Thanks for saving me tonight, Jake. I guess I'll see you later." I hoped my words penetrated, stung a little bit. He turned his head and his face looked full of pain, the pain of potential loss. "No! I have to see you tomorrow!" he said quickly, stumbling over his own words. "I'm sorry…I'll call you first thing and we'll go do something…anything…It'll be sunny tomorrow so maybe we'll get out…" His tone seemed strained and his face still sweat profusely.

"But I literally have to leave this second."

Without another word he swept out the window and I heard a very low thud outside as his feet hit the ground- and then he was off.

_So I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention,_

_And you know how much I need you, but you never even see me…_


End file.
